Truth

Disclaimer: Not a lot of humor and brevity to be found in this post.  I'm venting.

I had a good day, at the end of a good week.  I even took it in stride when, on Tuesday, I had 25 superintendents parade through my classroom to gather fodder for discussion about the "problem of practice" of 9th grade engagement.  They spent about 20 minutes in my classroom in two groups of 12-13, outnumbering the 11 students that were there that day.  Super authentic.  NOW they can claim to understand my students, our school, my teaching, me.

These suits visited a class that has grown tremendously since September.  A group of students who I couldn't seem to get more than 15 minutes of meaningful academic work out of has slowly transformed into a group of still imperfect young people who are learning how to talk academically, be serious about school, and collaborate with each other to enhance their learning.  The original group has lost three students - one to jail, one to a group home transfer, one to getting shipped home to Texas, and grown by 3 - one of whom was missing that day because he's recently become homeless.  These students' ethnic backgrounds bring the corners of the earth together.  Some are learning English or coping with learning disabilities.  All are navigating adolescence.  Then there's their teacher - I'm in my 6th year of teaching and have learned a few tricks by now.  I'm raising a one-year-old and working full-time.  Despite my dedication to my students, my being highly qualified and proven effective, I have been surplused twice.  Nothing to make you feel appreciated like being stamped as "overflow."  What I'm trying to say is, it's complicated.

They managed to make the sweeping judgment that my teaching "isn't rigorous enough" because I didn't explicitly say in the time they were in the room WHY we were reading the book we were discussing.  Nevermind that it was printed in plain ink on the unit plan they had in their hands.  One student had his hood up, prior to sharing a personal connection with the novel about his experience of racism as a black male.  That was part of their evidence of "lack of rigor."  As was my allowing a student who is going to be receiving special ed services due to his speech impediment to pass on contributing to the discussion.  He finally feels safe speaking in front of our class - I thought 13 old, white strangers with clipboards might be a little bit of a jump. 

Here's the thing - I love my work.  I love interacting with young adults during their transition to adulthood.  I love it when it's clear they are learning, and I love seeing their ability to produce really good work.  I love working with smart, funny, creative colleagues.  I love getting to talk about literature and words, teaching kids to write.  I work in a progressive school with a wonderfully supportive principal, but no place in the public school system is completely immune to bureaucratic bullshit.  I got my dose this week, it took the wind out of my sails, and now I think I'll just go crawl in bed.

Maybe someday I'll start my own school.  No superintendents allowed.